Creating Happiness at Work

Creating Happiness at Work

I believe that finding what is truly important is done when external expectations, ego, fear and failure are removed.

Unrealistic expectations lead to unhappiness. Whether it is social standards, expectations from colleagues and parents, or social comparisons, these expectations cause a discrepancy between reality and perceived truths. Not all expectations are bad, as they push mediocrity, drive one forward and motivate, but that is only the case when those expectations are done inwardly and realistically. Once you look externally to compare to others, overvalue personal pride, fear failure, or fear being embarrassed, expectations are distorted in a way to create a discontent.

Technology has been a large source of creating discontent. I can look on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and a number of other social media sites and find numerous examples of people displaying extremely high accomplishments and advancements. This could be former classmates, friends, peers, colleagues, people my age, or any other direct comparison, which all add and distort the expectations of my accomplishments. Technology also hastens the timeline for personal expectations, like “I want to be like that person I read about online, and I want to accomplish that now.”

I, like many, have been told that I can do and accomplish anything. I can be anything or anyone, move mountains, drive innovation, follow my passion, become rich and famous, command respect, rapidly advance, and benefit from the world around me. This is all true, but not until later in life did I learn a caveat – in order to fulfill those goals I must work hard, forge a path of learning, and incrementally I will have the ability to achieve them. Experience, knowledge, attitude, and drive are incremental growth steps needed to help identify opportunities and move you towards larger accomplishments.

To create true happiness in your career you need to bridge the expectation gap. There are four main ways that I have learned to create an inner bliss in what I do: jump at opportunities, not waste time, not regret anything, and clearly define my goals.

Safety and security are very easy things for one to be attracted to, whereas jumping at opportunities and pursing passions are some of the many things that scare people. Jumping at opportunities is especially necessary early in one’s career where supporting a family and worrying about health are of less importance. In order to create happiness you have to be doing something you like, something that interests you. I have found that through meeting people, networking, starting conversations with strangers, going to conferences, finding others with similar passions, and getting involved in your community. Once a network and support structure is built, the safety and security of each opportunity is strengthened, giving confidence to new opportunities. Don’t worry about failing – but if you do fail, you should learn and grow as a result.

Outside of expanding your network, you can expand your current duties and responsibilities in your current career. Find ways to promote your business, your job, your customer base, your interactions, your projects, you innovations, your products, and your systems. By investing time into your career to grow and build your role at your current position, it creates meaning and puts worth in what you do, which will establish a positive atmosphere and drives your everyday happiness. Personally expanding your role changes what you do on a day to day basis, creating opportunities, and keeping your work interesting, putting another dimension in your career.

Do not waste time. Do not squander your most valuable resource (time) on a job, field, or even friends you dislike. You need to reflect and identify sources of unhappiness and items that are a strain on your well being and find ways to improve them. I am reminded of this wonderful analogy on life: If your life and happiness is a bucket of water, you shall try to keep it full. There are things in life that drain your bucket and times in life when there are holes in your bucket, but you must find ways to keep it full. Whether it is finding ways to seal the holes or finding ways to fill your bucket, you need to keep your bucket full. One cannot sustain being empty or constantly being drained in life. Happiness is how you find ways in your environment to fill your bucket.

Not only in your career and field, but in your personal relationships one must create a positive environment. Put yourself in an area in which you want to be, in an ideal state. In doing so, remember: you are a reflection of the company you keep, so if you hang around those that are unhappy you will most likely join in on the pity parade. In acting on this step, you need to define yourself and be selfish in finding the roots of your own personal happiness. Find your needs in life, professionally and personally, and be very honest and realistic. Find ways to create a foundation to fulfill those needs, whether it is certifications, education, networking, soft skills, or whatever, but gain the knowledge, skills, and abilities which you can use to leverage action.

Your career cannot be the end all be all for everything you do and define you, personal expansion and interests add to happiness as much as work does. Maybe you cannot become a Top Gun pilot, but you can certainly design or build a plane, even if it is just a model. Have dreams and goals, but enjoy the ride in getting there. Hobbies help lower the delta between expectations and reality, raising you to that ideal state. Maybe you love the outdoors and hunting – you can find a career with an ATV manufacturer/ distributor, create a network where you can hunt with clients, or join a shooting league. Do something that aligns with what makes you happy.

When you do make a change that you believe is your next great opportunity – do not regret any decision. We all make decisions with partial information, but when we doubt our actions and results we doubt our abilities and become scared of failure. In driving forward you can to fall down, but it is when you pick yourself up and keep moving on where you redefine your passion and true source of happiness.

Everyone is given certain gifts, made certain decisions, pursued different things, and enjoyed different activities, so comparing yourself to someone who is on a different path in life is worthless. Comparing and contrasting everything in your life to someone else’s belittles your life and decisions.

“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.” Michael J. Fox

 You are on your own life path; just make sure that it is you who is driving. You create your own path in life and your own happiness, so find it. You may never own a Lambo, but you could restore and own a muscle car. In the end, you are only as good as your own passion, confidence and happiness, which YOU create. Filling that gap to true happiness can be filled by creative outputs, hobbies, family, writing, friends and a million other opportunities, and it is done when you put importance on it.

Setting expectations to the ever expanding standards of others is like trying to fill the void in a vacuum, it will always be an empty pursuit. As Marilu Henner stated, “Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.” Create your happiness, enjoy your life and do it now – it is what matters most.

-thePonderingNick